Dimming your light to fit in?

Dr Erin Bowe visibility coaching introverts

November 29, 2023

Recently I was chatting to Dr Renee White from the Science of Motherhood. Renee mentioned how she’s a visual person and sees core moments in life as coloured orbs – much like in the movie Inside Out. As I was listening to our podcast episode yesterday, I had my own ‘ooh that’s a core memory for the bank!’ moment.

I noticed that I felt really good about that interview. I probably didn’t explain the technical content as well as someone else, but I felt like myself – my relaxed, authentic self when the warmth, humour, light and joy just flows.

When was the last time you felt like that?

That’s a far cry fromt the ‘blue orb’ experience of having a girl in my social psych class make the ‘speak’ gesture at me with her hand (like I was a dog) and taunting me “speak! speak! go on, are you going to speak?”

11 years ago, the practice I was working at used to get quite a few media requests. I refused every single one of them. Who knows where my career would be now if I’d said yes to that TV spot on The Project about dog shaming? 🤣🐶

Jokes aside, it’s good to remind ourselves to turn down our negativity bias dial and notice, really notice:

What is bringing me joy and ease in my life and business? What do I do well and how do I get more of that?

I’ve been letting myself daydream further by asking myself – how might I be able to make more yellow orbs for people? As in, how can I take that feeling of ease and flow and share that light with others? How do I translate that into something helpful?

Noticing synchronicities has always served me well in my business. When I really listen for patterns, they appear.

Here are some of the snippets of conversation that have arrived in 1:1 mentoring this past month (which I’ve altered slightly for privacy):

“I don’t think AHPRA would be happy if I talked about myself that much on my website”

“Is it ethical to create an online course?” (most of you know my feelings on that – I don’t think it’s ethical to hoard knowledge to the confines of the therapy room!)

“I’m supposed to stand up at work in front of 200 people and talk to them to them about managing burnout. I want to die inside. It’s like there’s this inner critic screaming at me – “who are you to talk about this? You don’t have your life together, you’re a nobody”

I sometimes still forget just how fearful women are about visibility. That this isn’t a source of light and joy…yet!

One of my favourite moments in mentoring happens when I get someone talking about their passion and purpose, they drop their gaurd for a moment and suddenly I SEE them – they forget their anxiety (albeit for 20 seconds), there’s clarity and confidence in their message.

Those are the moments I’ll often say “we should have recorded that! We need to trim that into a clip and go put THAT on your website”

What if, instead of going on a coaching call and just talking about moving through your visibility fears, we actually did it in vivo?

What if there was a safe container to practise getting on camera, slowing down your voice and working through some of the desperation/rushing/awkward energy?

I learned visibility coaching from people with BIG extroverted energy who really pushed me, but also had no idea about AHPRA or Tall Poppy syndrome. I believe there is a gentler way.

So, I’m putting the idea out there – visibility coaching for introverted practitioners – my VIPS!

I’m thinking a small group, maybe twice a month. I’ll run a super affordable pilot group and see where it takes us. I’m thinking we’ll work on:

What it is you want to say and how to say it more confidently

If it’s useful, analyze your website and content and suggesting where you could (a) shine through stronger and (b) make your content more compelling for who you are trying to attract. I’m delving into doing this for myself with ChatGPT

We’ll make some content you can actually walk away and do something with – e.g., mini interview style and we’ll clip out the bits where you speak about your course/program/book whatever with passion in your eyes

It saddens me when people dim their light to fit in. Big ideas and dreams for global change but big fears take over. It means the Mum struggling to find good resources and support at 3AM can’t find you.

If you’ve been looking for nudge in this department and some gentle accountability then maybe this is it? Just an idea I’m putting out to see what comes back in.

Note – this is not social media or marketing training. You can choose the ‘where’ you want to show up, and I’ll teach you how to use your voice, words on the page, photos and non-verbals to get the best out of you – the authentic you to shine through.

Wait list for 2024 open now

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