When everything you do is wrong

August 2, 2023

Something very human and relatable is the feeling that whatever choice you make, it will somehow be wrong. Case in point for me this week – yogurt gate.

As always, if you prefer to listen, I’ve shared this week’s download on the mum as you are podcast

First I decided I was probably a ‘bad’ mum for re-introducing dairy. But then I figured I didn’t want my kids eating artificial sweeteners either. My youngest, who loves everything else coconut somehow hates coconut yogurt. 

I used to lovingly decant yogurt into little pots to save money and the environment (and because those little bento lunch boxes are cute but don’t fit many standard sized foods). Except that now they are in school, my kids get 10 minutes to eat lunch (don’t even get me started on the hypocrisy that is teaching Mindfulness and then only allowing 10 minutes to eat).

Suffice to say I allowed yogurt pouches to enter our world and I’ve been in a slight fog of everything I choose to do with yogurt is wrong ever since. 

I wish I knew there was a word for this feeling when I was writing my second book.  

There’s two excerpts in Social Media Detox for Mums that capture what most of us go through every day:

Like pretty much every mum I know, I have too many tabs in my brain open: when did I last worm the dogs? How am I going to find time to go to the dentist? Does my youngest have allergies? Is it bad that I stopped taking my kids to swimming lessons? Is my bushfire plan in place? Do I need a new sports bra?  

…That if she just tried a bit harder, or focused a bit more, she could have the cake and eat it. But don’t eat cake, OK? Because of sugar, white carbs and gluten, oh my. Am I doing anything right?

Turns out there is a word for it- Paro

It means the feeling that everything you do is somehow wrong.

It works best as a visual example, so if you haven’t seen this short video explaining it I encourage you to watch it. It comes from a book I just discovered and am slightly obsessed with – the dictionary of obscure sorrows by John Koenig. Basically its new words for emotions we all feel but don’t have the language for.

It’s impossible to live life in a vortex of feeling like you’re always doing the wrong thing. Life feels easier when we lead with kindness – give yourself a break for doing the best you can in the moment. 

Breathe. You don’t have to be perfect.

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