By age 8 girls’ confidence plummets

Dr Erin bowe visibility for introverts

October 27, 2023

I wanted to begin this week sharing a brief piece of research that’s been burrowing into my brain ever since I read it –Between the ages of 8 and 14, girls’ confidence levels plummet by 30 percent. They become hesitant to try new things, and insist they aren’t ‘good’ at something if they don’t immediately excel at something. For every adult woman who sees herself in that above statement, just take a moment to notice it without judging yourself.

Just notice if you might have a tendency to resist things that you think you won’t immediately be good at. I know I do! I’ve spoken before about big resistance I used to have about getting on video.  Back in 2017, my first video for my business was literally titled ‘A for Anxiety’ 

My Hypnobirthing trainer Melissa set me a ‘fun’ terrifying challenge to ‘be more visible’. Literally, an Introvert’s nightmare! You can my deer in the headlights video here if you really want to see it! Not sure if the shaking is from me or the absence of a tripod 

Fast forward to 2020 where I spoke on a Birth Trauma Awareness panel which got over 16, 000 views! Suffice to say, sometimes the thing you think you won’t be ‘good at’ actually becomes a pathway to helping others. For me, my deep calling to help others became bigger than my fear. Video allows you to connect faster and ‘show’ rather than ‘tell’ people what you’re about. Conveniently, I made a video for you on this (see below) or head here if your device doesn’t support video in emails. I know a LOT of you feel you aren’t ‘good at’ being visible. I literally had 5 replies within an hour of sending my email about visibility fears last week. If you need the support to break through some of these “oh, but I’m not good at it” or “I worry what people think of me” types fears, then I’m here. I’ve set up a page with some info about my visibility coaching group.

P.S. in case you’re wondering, the research comes from the book, The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance – What Women Should Know, by journalists Katty Kay and Claire Shipman.  I found it via this article in A Mighty Girl 

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