Visibility and birthday parties…there’s a lesson in there

My Mother’s Group is still close some 5.5 years later. We rarely see each other but still check in with milestones and news. A conversation came up about birthday parties in the time of covid-19 and how much things have changed from our own childhoods.

Cue a nostalgic conversation about party games. Gone are the days of bobbing for apples (though I shudder to think how disgusting that activity was!), the chocolate game and fluffy/chubby bunny.

For the uninitiated, the chocolate game – as I vaguely recall, requires you to roll a dice, get a 6, then put on mittens or oven mitts and then cut chocolate with a knife and fork, trying to eat as much as you can before someone else rolls a 6. Totally not covid safe now!

The other gross game I remember was either called ‘fluffy’ or ‘chubby’ bunny. Basically, you shove marshmallows in your mouth and say ‘chubby’ bunny until you can’t fit anymore in.

Don’t show off, let everyone else go first

My friend recalled how her mother used to tell her to try not to win games at parties because then everyone else won’t get a chance. She recalled family VHS tapes where you can see her hovering at the back of the line for pin the tail on the donkey and letting everyone else go first.

How many of us have been trained to stand back and dim our light, so as not to draw attention to our unique talents?

SO many of us! And I can pick it quickly by skimming your website copy and in listening to how my mentorees speak every week.

6 Signs you are struggling with visibility in your business:

1. I can’t figure out what your actual name or put a face to a name within 2 -3 seconds of being on your website

2. You say “we” and “our” when there’s only one of you (so many people feel the need to hide behind a non-existent team – where does that come from?)

3. You check and recheck what other people in a similar role are doing with their websites and social media (and call it ‘research’) instead of using that hour to create your own content

4. You overthink the discomfort you might feel if you share something about yourself online and your friends/family judge you. Yet, you discount the real suffering you might reduce for someone else by sharing this story

5. The idea of using your own name for your business name makes you squirm. Despite it being the easiest way for people to find you, and to avoid confusion. Yet, you’d still rather use a business name that’s the same as/similar to someone else’s

6. Your bio is mostly a shopping list of all your degrees, certificates and professional development (yet you still query if you need more). There’s plenty about what you’ve achieved, but nothing much about you as a person

Visibility is a practice. You can’t think your way into finding it more comfortable, you’ve just got to practice believing in your mission and your message. If you want your clients to trust you to sit in the darkness with them, then don’t just tell them (by listing degrees for example), show them. Show them your warmth and light. Cast it bright so they can find you.

Need help?

After school holidays I’ll have some availability in between book writing. My calendar is HERE or just hit reply 🙂

Erin