Need a confidence boost?
Being able to express your ideas with conviction is a valuable business tool, but in over 10 years of working in my own business now, I can guarantee you this:
You are going to have days where all you do is cry because things aren’t going well for whatever reason.
I suggest you save this list somewhere and remind yourself to pull it out on a hump day.
Have a list of your achievements and positive feedback
It’s easy to brush off what you’ve achieved. In a moment of feeling less than because I never published any of my academic work, it’s easy to forget I even did a PhD. In a moment of feeling like I’m not emotionally strong enough as a mother, it’s easy to forget how deep I had to dig to find strength in my daughters’ births. In a moment of agonising about low book sales for the quarter, it’s easy to stop and remember that I actually wrote 2 books and got them published.
Have a list of roadblocks you’ve overcome
I’m somewhat obsessed about normalizing failure in life and business. Learning to be OK with and integrate failure on a somatic level, is where real growth happens. Think about 3 business ‘failures’ or roadblocks you’ve hit and write them down. Was there a lesson in it that you couldn’t see at the time, but might be useful now? Writing this down serves to remind you that you’ve gotten through hard times before, you’ll get through them again.
Share your roadblocks out loud and notice how freeing it is
It’s one thing to write out your failures in a journal and never tell anyone about them. I’d encourage you to share them (with the right audience of course!). This means you’ve now got some content for your business, but also, from personal experience it’s really quite nice to see someone’s shoulders drop or read a reply that says “OMG that made me feel so much better!”
Share your road bumps to build authenticity and relatability with your audience. I’m not afraid to share my own business hurdles with my mentoring students. Anyone who has appeared to master the thing you’re trying to do has experienced failure.
For example, I’ve shared many times before that my first course Birth Trauma Training for Birth Workers initially only made one sad sale in the first 3 months. One! I’ve since sold thousands of that course, but it was a huge learning curve. I learned that creating the course is the easy bit! (I can teach you how, here, if you like). Knowing your audience, understanding marketing and conversion rates is far more important than what plant is in the background of your video.
I’ve launched courses that no one bought. I’ve had podcast episodes with only a handful of listeners. I have people unsubscribe from my newsletter every single month. As I refine my audience I’m also losing followers every single week. This is the business of running a business.
Practise communicating your ‘why’ and the conviction will shine through
Become really well versed in knowing this and sharing it. Your ‘why’ becomes the anchor. On every crappy day ore very time you hit a slump in confidence, come back to your ‘why’.
People are less invested in ‘what’ you do or what you studied to get there. They want to know what you stand for and why they should trust you.
See if you can come up with 3 stories that are on-brand, relevant and interesting to your intended audience. A ‘why’ connects with people a LOT faster than a ‘what’
Notice the difference between:
“Hello, I’m Mia. I work with mothers in the perinatal period. I use CBT and ACT and I’ve completed X training [insert shopping list of certifications]
Vs
“Hello, I’m Sam. I’m the 1 in 5 Mums who have experienced Post Natal Depression. After experiencing [a dehumanizing Mother and Baby unit experience/A GP who gave me medication and sent me on my way], I vowed to be the change I wanted to see for Mums struggling with PND. This is why I started [insert business name].
Mia has a perfectly nice inspirational quote on her page. Nice, but not something that will capture anyone’s attention for more than 3 seconds.
Sam can share the story of how ashamed she felt for being a health professional who ended up with PND (she somehow thought she ‘should’ be immune). She can share what helped her move through those huge feelings of shame.
Which one do you think is going to project more authenticity, relatability and ultimately confidence?
Maybe you don’t want to share something personal. That’s fine. You need to be selective and measured about what you share. It takes practise and everyone has their own ‘set’ point. What’s natural for me to share 10 years after doing this, might feel terrifying for you. That’s ok. You need to practise until you find a story that feels authentic and right for you to share. If you’re avoiding ‘self-disclosure’ because of fears that it’s somehow unethical then remember this – it’s not unethical to be a human sharing a human experience.
Reach out to someone you admire or learn from
Business owners want to know who is listening/reading and finding their content useful. That’s how you get better at figuring out what to share and how to serve people. Reach out to someone and just take 5 minutes to tell them something they shared that resonated, or something you like about their work. It’s not like the olden days of going up to people in conference rooms!
Will they reply? Who knows. Have no expectations. Expectations can ruin relationships. Start with one conversation.
In fact, you could do that for homework right now. Go over to my contact form and say hello 🙂
