I was talking to Elly Tomkins the other day. We’ve bonded over our shared interests in being Disruptors – women who trained as psychologists but whose businesses don’t fit what people expected of us.
We were talking about self-doubt and where it stems from. I can easily identify one my origin stories and thought I’d share it with you:
In one of my first jobs in private practice I walked through the door thinking I probably wasn’t ‘good enough’ to be there. That was quickly confirmed when the owner was too stingy to order new business cards. They simply took the old cards of someone who used to work there, crossed their name out and wrote mine over the top.
It’s not about the money. For women with money blocks, I often think it’s never about the money. The money is just the concrete example we can draw on to talk about self-doubt and feelings of worthlessness.
With something as trivial as business cards, I felt like an afterthought—an imposter who wasn’t meant to be there. Such a simple action sowed seeds of self-doubt, leaving me questioning my worth and place in my profession. It also made me question whether we actually shared the same values in professionalism.
This was later confirmed when I asked for supervision for couples counselling (given I’d never worked with couples yet) and I was handed a Dr Phil book. I knew I wasn’t going to be supported or grow in that workplace.
It’s funny – moments like these that can make you feel insignificant, but they also offer a choice: let self-doubt hold you back, or let it fuel fire under your bum to do things differently.
If self-doubt has ever made you feel small, remember: it’s not about where you start; it’s about where you decide to go.
P.S. I haven’t had business cards in well over 10 years now
P.P.S. Yep, still have never warmed to couples counselling
