The Importance of Being Naked and Fat

New, improved, free, sale, proven, expert. Boring marketing buzzwords. It’s all about being naked and fat now.

The obsession with the word ‘naked’ in advertising and media makes me think back to the elusive Cadbury Nudge bar. You might recall that if you obscured the ‘G’ with your finger, then it said ‘Nude’. How risqué.

A friend of mine from school missed out on the joy that is a corny Friday night movie thanks to his mother’s disapproval of Leslie Nielson‘s ‘Naked’ movies. She also vehemently disapproved of Eddie Murphy. I guess she listened to Boogie in Your Butt, because she certainly didn’t recognise Eddie’s face. I know this, because my friend managed to smuggle Beverly Hills Cop II out of the Star Channel video store by obscuring Eddie’s name (and the non-PG rating) with his finger. Of course, nowadays Eddie’s ass is considered perfectly suitable for children.

At the end of the Nineties, and before he became lord of Sainsburys,  Jamie Oliver was just the Naked Chef. For the last decade, the food industry has become saturated with naked juices, cakes, and just about anything else you can strip down. Rest assured when you’re done eating your naked pasta (just pasta without sauce as far as I can tell), and sipping your naked wine(proletarians call it “cleanskin”) you can unzip your Nudie jeans and let it all hang out.

However, whilst you are unzipping those jeans, you mustn’t mention the word ‘fat’, because I think Heston owns it now. Recently, a restaurant in Sydney got into trouble with Heston Blumenthal for using the title “Fat Duck”. They’ve now changed it to “Naked Duck”, and The Sydney Morning Herald even quoted co-owner, George Nahas, as saying that Fat Duck is a “greater” name.

Perhaps they should have gone for ‘Phat‘ rather than ‘fat’? Roasted duck is Pretty Hot And Tempting, after all. The origins of the word ‘phat’ can be found in a delightful book with the awesome title ofFlappers 2 Rappers: American Youth Slang.

Speaking of food that is pretty hot and tempting, why not take your easily-flappable loved ones out to the best little pintxos bar in Melbourne?