Ever walked into a room full of people and just gone “fark, I don’t belong here?”

To be fair, I’d already walked in and paid for a ticket. 6 or more hours ago. I just hadn’t been kicked out yet. I was visiting a tourist attraction that may or not have the same name as Aussie Craig Mchlachlan’s biggest (only?) hit

As the sun set some friends and I were finishing our drinks on the lawn. Some giant cushions came out, there was a sound test and next thing we knew the place started filling up with people who were dressed a bit more bougie than we were. Then the moment happened – the moment I knew I didn’t belong there – gigantic lobsters on skewers were placed on the barbecue. I’m not talking big prawns, I mean thousands of dollars worth of lobsters just casually plonked on a bbq

It gets darker and we still haven’t been asked to leave.

We work out our strategy – act natural, stay put until we are asked to leave, but maybe don’t help ourselves to the lobsters just in case. that lasted 10 minutes until everyone’s inner feelings started to show:

Friend 1: look people in the eye AND drink their free booze

Friend 2: pretend like you do actually know that random person who thinks they know you from some other art thing. Don’t touch the lobster but do put a Riedell glass in your handbag

Husband: sit their looking completely like he belongs there

ME: don’t look anyone in the eye, just stare into your empty glass

I  don’t remember how it ended. I think we saw the owner come out and got a bit more nervous. Or maybe we just got hungry and decided to leave. Later I asked my husband “how did we get away with that?” His response? “why do you assume we didn’t belong there?” Turns out he’d already met the owner. More than that he’d ben given a private tour two years before the museum even opened.

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